Attempted Suicide - His & Mine

Today, I felt like writing a letter to God.

I, like many people have mastered the art of going on life as usual while feeling not too fantastic. I went for dental checkup and polishing, a pedicure session, movie and dinner with friends. Yet, I know I felt a certain sadness that I do not know how to do and what to say.

My dad attempted suicide last evening and this morning. Last night, he took a mouthful of his medicine, put inside his mouth and wanted to swallow. My maid caught him in time, called me and face to face, I asked him to spilt the medicine out and he did. I consoled him, and he went to bed after talking and singing him songs.

This morning, at 7am, my mum knocked my room door and shouted for help. I dashed out, and saw my dad sitting outside the window of my living room and about to jump down. I shouted at him and said that if he ever did that, I will not forgive him for the rest of my life. I told him, we have been fighting this for so long, why give up now? He relented and we caught him and brought him back and sent him to hospice where the nurses can monitor him.

As I sent him back to hospice, holding his hands in mine, my heart break. I hated to see the dad I love suffered and the thought of him about to jump off and me losing him forever hurted me. God, your grace is sufficient for any of my trials. If you are to take him, take him now afterall heaven is a beautiful place. Do not let him take his own life. God, help him.

Attempted suicide is sad, almost because he felt helpless and no reasons for him to be around. I know how that feeling was like.

I offered no condemnation to no one that attempted suicide, I understand fully how they felt and why they did what they did.