What do you bring to the table?

I had several relationships, way too many I believe. I started my first relationship since 16 years old and sicne then never had time for myself. Honestly, all the broke up took after a certain pattern, they were initiated by me and usually lasted 1 to 2 years, some months and the reason was always because deep down I believed that they did not love enough. After the 3rd relationship, I thought something was wrong with me. I asked myself whether I was asking too much or too unrealistic, maybe I should hang around a while longer for that person to cultivate that love and feeling to be strong enough, basically for him to love me enough. I remembered there was this ex-boyfriend that made a comment. He said loving me was great but he felt the bar was raised higher and higher and that level was difficult to reach. So, I seriously thought that I should lower my bar and my level was just unrealistic.

As the years went by, I realise I was not being unrealistic. In fact it was never an issue of realism rather the way we viewed love. I am such, when I made a decision to love that person, be it a friend or someone I love, I bring to the table full 100%. If I decided to love that person, I can do anything, anything for that person, and no matter how long I knew her or him. That 100% may remain, many just decreased along the way. Yet I discovered that many approached that table with much caution. They brought to the table with a 10 or 20% and increased according with time or how the relationship developed. When both love at different degree and level at different pace, you get frustration. No right or wrong just like how we approach investment.

I guessed for me it was like giving the best shot at the start because that was how love was all about. Just how I approache the table... ...