Hear Me!

Singapore Hospice Council and Lien Foundation published in ST today. Aimed to educate the general public about hospice care and the topic of death. As stated in the papers, our culture tends to promote a kind of secrecy, silence and shame towards terminal illness.

One of the greatest acts of kindness we can do for the dying is allowing them to be heard. Another act of kindness could be allowing the caregiver of the dying to be heard and in this case is me. Like said in the paper, not talking about death won't make it go away, talking about it, on the other hand, can bring life.

Many many times, people asked me "How is your dad?" I replied,"He is dying." Before I could continue, they would said "No, do not say that" or "Do not worry, he will be alright" or "Sorry" and then silence or move on to another topic. I understand. Firstly, death is not a pleasant topic. The book "Tuesday with Morrie" can be the best seller, that does not mean people understand death and can talk about it. And people do not know what to say about it, or how to console me.
So. nowadays, I simply reply: "He should be alright." The reply is not a lie. He should be alright, but he is not. The reply is to release the burden of them not knowing what to say about death.

Honestly, I do not have anyone to talk to about my dad, who is dying. So I blog. Writing clear my thoughts and allows me to grieve and blogging gives me an idea that I am heard when in honestly, whether I am heard or not is then another issue.

Lastly, I am not too sure whether Singaporeans are ready to break the conspiracy of silence againist the dying by talking about death. Afterall, not everyone is as lucky as Morrie.